Does this offend you?

Are there any songs that you find offensive? I heard part of a fascinating radio programme about this (“Taboo be Doo” on BBC Radio 4) today.

What was so interesting was that there are some very old songs that, had they been written today, would be banned and not played on the radio.

However, it would seem that because they are old, it’s OK.

Some of these turned out to be some of my favourite records from my murky past.

Not listening

What was also interesting was that there were a few songs that, if you weren’t listening, might be offensive, but if you took the trouble to hear the words properly, told a very different story.

Are you listening?

This is such a common problem. You hear, or partly hear, what someone has said and just assume the rest of it. Or you hear it and interpret it in a way that is not what the speaker had in mind.

This was particularly true of a song called “I’m Not All There” by Harry Carlton in which the person who is apparently “not all there” gets the last laugh, in spite (and possibly because) of what others may think of him.

It’s very easily done, and it’s the way your brain works to save time. It sees part of a pattern and just fills in the rest. This is how your memory works, which is why it’s not always reliable.

In the main it’s very useful, but it can be dangerous in some situations. It can lead to all kinds of unnecessary arguments and problems.

Dangerous situations

So the key is: how do you tell the difference between these situations? How do you know which are the ones where you can get away with making assumptions and which are the ones where you need to pay more attention and ask some questions?

How to tell the difference

Here’s a simple rule of thumb. If you find something offensive, pay more attention and ask some questions before you take offence.